The most interesting thing about today’s ConLaw exam--aside from the fact that it sucked great big donkey balls--was interacting with the Extegrity exam software.
In addition to wiping my clipboard, disabling my e-mail, and preventing me from watching the Paris Hilton video during the exam, this fascist piece of software saw fit to provide cute little alerts throughout the exam, like:
::YOU HAVE ONLY FIFTEEN MINUTES REMAINING FOR THIS EXAM::
Which is a fat lot of help when my ears are bleeding because I’m trying to remember which justice wrote the majority opinion in Bowsher v. Synar (Answer: Your Mom). I actually didn’t mind these time warnings too much, though I probably would have avoided using the built-in timer altogether if I’d known that the alerts were going to be so in-your-face. But things got worse once Extegrity decided to protect me from myself.
::YOU ARE ABOUT TO DELETE 100 OR MORE CHARACTERS. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?::
Yes, Extegrity. Yes, I am. But thanks for asking, and thanks for asking in a way that requires me to fumble around for my mouse in order to answer you. It’s not as if I’m pressed for time or anything, having only fifteen minutes left and having just deleted four paragraphs. Now, if you’d excuse me?
So I continue: “Madison argues in Federalist No. 45 that if the balance of power ever were to shift from the states to the federal government, it's because the people decided that the federal government was making better use of it or something.”
What? Was it the small caps that threw it off? Try again: “Madison argues in Federalist No. 45 that if the balance of power ever were to shift from the states to the federal government, it's because the people decided that the federal government was making better use of it or something. Really.”
::INVALID ENTRY. YOU’RE THINKING OF FEDERALIST NO. 46::
You must be kidding. I’ve been studying this stuff for weeks, and I know that in Federalist 45 Madison argues that--oh, wait. You’re right. Uh, thanks, Extegrity.
::NO PROBLEM. BUT YOUR STUFF ON STATE SOVEREIGN IMMUNITY BLOWS::
::I’M SERIOUS. IT SUCKS TOTAL ASS.::
How about you leave me alone?
::HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN TO CLASS THIS SEMESTER?::
If you don’t cut this out, I’m calling the proctor.
::GO AHEAD. SHE’S ON MY SIDE.::
Dammit, Extegrity. Now I’m stuck. What the hell am I supposed to do?
::GIVE UP. FIND A REAL JOB. MAYBE GROW A BEARD::
You’re totally bumming me out.
::::YOU HAVE ONLY ONE MINUTE REMAINING FOR THIS EXAM::
That’s bullshit! You just said that I had fifteen minutes like three minutes ago!
You piece of crap. I knew I should have handwritten this thing.
::I GET THAT A LOT::
And so on. All in all, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. And I don’t think that the other two are going to be any worse. But I still need to go study now. So, good luck everybody.