Hand Formula: If (B)urden < (P)robability * (L)oss, Then, Negligent.
Hand Raising Formula: If (P)robability of a Right Answer * (B)rownie Points < (L)ikelihood of (F)ailing (M)iserably and (L)ooking
(H)opelessly (R)etarded, Then, Keep Quiet.
Attendance Formula: If 1200 - C = J, Where C is Scheduled (C)lasstime Expressed in Military Time, and J is any Positive Integer, Then, Class is Too Effing Early.
Socratic AssWhooping Theorem: (P)robability of Being Called On =
1/ABS([N]umber of Pages Read-[T]otal Beers Consumed the Night Before).
WV’s OCI Conjecture: X2 + Y2 = Z, Where X=Distance, in Inches, of Hemline above Knee, Y=Number of Unfastened Blouse Buttons, and Z=Number of Callback Interviews.
Fundamental Rejection Axiom: C=1-P, Where C is Your Chance of Scoring at a Law School Function and P is the Probability that You Author a Blawg Whose Name Rhymes with TruffaloDings&Modka.