Apparently, Kerry is going to announce his VP pick today, and I am frightened. This campaign has done a lot of retarded stuff so far, and I wouldn't be surprised if they kept it up by picking a running mate that someone told them might help them pick up a few points in a state rhyming with Pflorida, or who would add the much-needed redhead to the ticket. But let me be clear:
If Kerry chooses anyone other than John Edwards, I will change the name of my blog to JohnKerryisEffingRetarded&Vodka.
Additionally, I will be pissed. If he picks Gephardt, I'll probably be too depressed to vote. If he picks Bob Graham, I'll vote for Bush. I he picks Wesley Clark (a near impossibilty, but some assholes keep bringing it up), I'll vote for Bush three times. And if he picks Vilsack, well, I'll probably just say "Huh-huh...Vil-sack." But I might vote for Bush then too.
Edwards has everything Kerry needs in a VP. He's from the South. He's clearly alive. And he's really quite short. I only hope J-Eff-K can see that.
UPDATE: Well, that's good. May I suggest that we lobby the networks to skip coverage of the last night of the convention? If the last thing people see is the Edwards speech on Wednesday, the Dems might just pull this off.
Rove is using McCain footage to spin this as Kerry settling for his second choice, which is clever. I can't imagaine that anyone in the Kerry camp ever actually thought that McCain would accept, so if the leak of that particular idea was Kerry's fault (could have been a complete GOP fabrication, I dunno) I'm hoping it was some weird scheme to make him seem more moderate for awhile. Anyway, Kerry was my second choice. Come to think of it, so was Bush, and he did pretty well.