Okay. I’ll admit it. I miss law school.
As much as I’ve enjoyed the first half of my Summer of Nothing™--putting a dent in a three-month backlog of magazines, catching up with my correspondence, regularly attending my spinning class--there are times when I wish that classes would just hurry up and start again. Compulsively checking for grades gave way to compulsively changing my schedule which has given way to compulsively checking to see if the reading lists for the fall have been posted yet because what I should really be doing this summer is studying casebooks so far ahead of time that I forget everything that I’ve learned before classes even start.
There is such a thing as law school withdrawal, and I seem to have it pretty bad. But I’ve developed some coping mechanisms:
--Though I have no reason to wake up in the morning, I’ve started setting my alarm for 8 a.m. just so I can wake up, yell “Please, Jesus! Make the ouching stop!”, and throw it across the room.
--Whenever I watch Oprah I have my laptop in front of me for note taking. Only, instead of taking notes, I play Solitaire. And check my e-mail. And send IM’s to one of my cats about how retarded my other cat is for raising his hand and making a comment about the UCC when everybody knows that Oprah doesn’t give a shit about the UCC. Stupid cat.
--My copy of TV Guide is thoroughly highlighted and tabbed, and I had to go ahead and make a separate index and table of contents because, let’s face it, every second counts.
--While on commercial plane flights, I turn the normal in-flight safety briefing into an interactive experience, asking the flight attendant specific questions about flotation devices and oxygen masks and throwing in a few comments about the plane’s maintenance schedule, so she knows I’ve been doing some unassigned reading. Once the briefing is finished, I run like a fucking madman to the front of the plane and ask about the in-flight movie.
I suppose that a logical solution would have been to take summer school. But that would have cost money, and I was worried about being graded on the curve against people for whom summer school seemed like a fun idea. I’m pretty sure, though, that I can hold my own against my cats. They never do the reading.