In a shameless attempt to promote the paperback release of Barman, his near-Pulitzer quality memoir about passing the bar exam and sleeping with fictional hot chicks, Mr. Alex Wellen has stooped to just about every sleazy publicity stunt he could think of. He chained himself outside of a Philadelphia courthouse for three days with a sign that said "Will Write Solipsistic Bio for Food"; he went on a fourteen-hour prayer-a-thon in the middle of an LA-area Barnes & Noble; and he even went so far as to send me this e-mail, which I reproduce now, here, for you:
BARMAN Part II: Revenge of the Sith*
I've been absolutely inundated with questions about the paperback.** Allow me to take a preemptive strike: On Tuesday, August 24th, Three Rivers Press, a Division of Random House, will release the paperback version of BARMAN. Why on Earth would you shell out another ten bucks for a book you've already read two or three times? For starters, we worked out all the kinks from the hardcover. With the paperback, expect no more typos, better grammar, more suspense, richer characters, quirkier situations, more pages, alternate endings, Surround Sound, outtakes, team bios, hidden Easter Eggs, and an audio commentary track with the author.** Plus, those who pick up the paperback on www.amazon.com between August 24th and the 31st will receive a free Candy Barman.*** (Details at www.alexwellen.com)
Thanks again. You look nice today.****
* "Revenge of the Sith" is the title of the forthcoming Star Wars movie and is a registered trademark of LucasFilms Ltd.
** The preceding sentence may contain exaggerations, untruths, and/or supposition.
*** While supplies last. And if you're lying just to get some free candy, I'll still send it, but shame on you.
**** Really, you do. I'm sorry if you received this email more than once.
So, there. Truth be told, I don't really like the man. He slept with my sister. And burned down my village. But paying ten dollars is certainly much better than paying the twenty-five dollars that I plunked down. And candy is good.