My recent acceptance of gainful summer employment has brought to mind one particularly nagging fact that I'd been ignoring for the past several months: I don't really know anything about this thing they call "The Law."
Now, I don't mean that just in a "I completely forgot everything about Contracts as soon as I finished my exam" sort of way, nor do I mean that in a "the law is so indeterminate that we can't really know anything about it without smoking a bowl" kind of way. When I say that I don't know anything about the law, I mean that after 1.5 years in law school, the only skills I've acquired are the ability to weasel outlines out of 3L's and a knack for getting drunk and fed at law firm receptions without actually having to speak to any lawyers. I know nothing about civil procedure, I haven't a clue about the inner workings of a business association of any kind, and everything I know about evidence I learned from watching Judging Amy. Hell, even watching me navigate Westlaw or Lexis is like watching your grandmother try to play Xbox. As of this moment, as an employee, I am utterly useless.
But this will change.
My spring schedule was originally filled with heavy classes from famous professors, with course titles that contained either the word "Jurisprudence" or an ampersand. My philosophy was one of "Wait until BarBri to learn the practical stuff. Use this opportunity to feed your brain." Well screw that. This spring, I will be the most practical guy in the law school. I'll take Texas CivPro, Evidence, Professional Responsibility, Corporations. I don't care. Have a boring class? Throw it my way. I'll take Tax. I'll take an ERISA seminar. I'll take frickin keyboarding if they offer it. No more intellectual flights of fancy for me. My brain hurts. I want a list of regulations that I have to memorize--that I have to put on flashcards and memorize. I want to use my highlighters on the UCC. I want to stickyflag something. Anything.
(And, yes, I'm crying on the inside.)