Final Request Cleanup

1. Weird Specialties

Ruby asks:

You often hear people go on and on about how the best way to make money in
the law is to specialize.  What, in your opinion, is the oddest legal
specialty out there?

This seems like a question that would require actual, first-hand knowledge or experience to answer, but I'll try anyway. I think the wackiest emerging legal specialty will be anything dealing with the expansion of statutory and common law into the virtual worlds created by MMORPG's, the big-ass, online role playing games like Everquest and Worlds of Warcraft. People have already written some articles on intellectual property rights in items created in those worlds, and on the wacky exchange rates created by the real world trading of virtual world currency. But what about, say, family law? Can I sue my online wife for divorce if I catch her fornicating with a mage from another guild? Or can she get me for alimony if she finds out about that thing with the nymph from the Aerysthian Shard? Am I going to have to give up a substantial portion of my gold just to support the halfling that I fathered on some dwarf chick after too many rounds with a tankard of mead? These are important questions, and someone is going to have to deal with them.

2. Why Law School?

An anonymous poster, known only to her fans as "Sigh" writes:

You, W&V, YOU have what the elite writing world calls "writing ability" and are seemingly clever enough to have your own column and make lots of money as a journalist and or novelist. Why, then,(WHY??) are you in law school?

The quick answer is that the world of elite advertising creatives seemed to think that I wasn't good enough for them. Maybe I just came out in a tough market, but whatever. Screw them for not recognizing that I could have been the greatest advertising mind since Bill Bernbach.

A better answer is that I am extremely risk-averse. I like eating, and I just don't have what it takes to be a starving artist, or a rather hungry artist, or anything other than a consistently-pleasantly-full artist. So, as long as there is a way that I can get paid for doing something that's interesting, I'll probably do that.

But the best answer is simply that I have the attention span of a nine-year-old strung out on meth. I've had to take six breaks just to finish this post. The thought of sitting down long enough to finish a short story makes me want to cry.

Oh, also, I came to law school to help people. Really.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, though. Once my firm realizes who they've hired, I'm sure I'll be forced to pursue a book deal a little more energetically. Until then, the world will have to be happy with stuff like "What the Supremes Are Doing For Arbor Day" and "A Brief Conversation About Multiple Choice Question #32 On My Remedies Exam." Sorry.

3. Quit Screwing Around

The last request comes from the future. In a request from myself, written on Jan 10th, 2005, I say to me:

Dude. Quit screwing around. You have to finish an entire play by January 10th, and then a rough draft of your student note by the 24th. You haven't finished your Christmas shopping, you still need to do laundry, and if you don't clean up the house before you leave, you're going to be the youngest divorcee in the history of the blogosphere. So quit with the last-minute posting, and get busy. Love, You.

Seriously, man. Chill out. I appreciate your advice, but we both know that I'm going to spend the next eight hours playing Halo 2. And though I might have considered using some of that time to work on the student note, you've sort of pissed me off. So, now you get to deal with it. Have fun! And Happy New Year! Love, Me.

Comments

[Milton]

Dude, you said as long as there is a way that I can get paid for doing something that's interesting, I'll probably do that.

This leads me back to the question that initiated the above response: why, then, are you in law school? You don't for a second believe that BigFlaw, regardless of what type of law you practice, is consistently interesting, do you?

[Nick]

He chose Law, because even if you do good work you still can get paid bank. My minimum I'll work for is 140,000 to start. I mean a man has to be able to eat. I also refuse to work for a big firm in 2 years that doesn't have box seats to the opera. And when I say opera I mean whatever major league baseball team is in the city. So any city that doesn't have a baseball team is automatically out. National League cities are favored over American League.

[Unreasonable Man]

That reminds me of the coolest (or at least coolest sounding) specialty. Copyright lawyers who specialize in video games. As part of their "initial research" for each game, they have to play them. Damn that would suck... getting paid $300-$500 per hour to play Halo 2.

[Kelly P.]

The firm where I work specializes in fireworks law. It is a pretty odd, and extremely interesting, area of law. The perks? Tons of free fireworks, and the whole month of June throwing "Snap-n-Pops" at your co-workers and lighting M-80s outside the partners' offices!!!! :):)

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