As a 3L graduating Friday (!!!), I would like to read about something other than finals, papers, job prospects, lack thereof, or basically, anything relating to the law, law school, etc.
So- if memory serves, you got hitched recently. I think your gentle readers would like to know more of the details. For example, obviously your new bride is not Ms. Paris Hilton, but surely she IS a super model? And an astrophysicist? Details, please.
Dear Law Grrrrl,
Thank you for wrrrriting. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume that the reason you find it obvious that I would not be married to Paris Hilton is that she totally embarrassed the crap out of me at Topher Grace’s Orange Party last year, and not because she’s rich or doesn’t know who I am.
Anyway, the specs on Mrs. Andvodka:
Contrary to popular belief, Mrs. Andvodka (hereinafter “Alice from Dallas ”) is both sighted and without serious mental disability. Rumors that our wedding was a coerced affair, brought about only by appeals to several Russian mob bosses, are patently false. Her decision to marry me was a willful, voluntary act, and she has regretted it ever since. Though no longer a supermodel (her coke habit was getting in the way of my coke habit), she is quite fetching.
(Here is a nice picture of her in a costume. Here’s one of her and some dude. And here’s one that’s generally more representative. As is this one. (Incidentally, if anyone wants to see more of our stunning wedding photos taken by this guy, go ahead and e-mail me and I’ll send you the password. Somebody should be getting my money’s worth.))
Anyway, we met either:
A) During a college dinner theatre production in which she wore a bodice and I wore tights.
B) While working as gaffers on a failed film version of The Babysitter’s Club #4: MaryAnne Saves the Day.
C) When I tried to hit on her at a club, and she thought that my “As your attorney, I advise you to have freaky monkeysex with me”-line was cute, or
D) At a pro-Smith rally during the 1928 presidential campaign.
The precise length of our courtship is a matter of some debate, but most historians estimate that it lasted at least four years. It mainly consisted of me doing stupid stuff and her making fun of me for it. It was great.
Currently, Alice is a freelance advertising copywriter, doing work for various companies, large and small. In fact, you can even see her portfolio here. And if you’re someone in need of a copywriter, feel free to contact her and use my name. It may or may not help.
And that’s about it. At this very moment, she is in Dallas, at her parents’ house (where I’ll be headed in about a week, before taking off at exactly noon on Christmas Day to go to my parents’ house), which is why I’m allowed to be up and typing at this hour.
(More requests to come...)