And You Thought the Wills & Estates Thing Was a Waste of Time...

I'm competing in a firm-sponsored mock trial this Friday, and though they keep saying that this is just for fun and has nothing to do with my getting an offer, their body language and tone of voice make it very clear that if I don't win big tommorrow, I'm probably out.

So I'm trying for every possible advantage.

Which is why I just finished drafting this, a motion to transfer venue from conference room 57C to conference room 60A .  I think I'm going to start using it as my writing sample.

Comments

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming this draft hasn't been through Blue Lines, as there is a clear error on page 4, Para. F. Change 57A to 60A.

[wingsandvodka]

In an office where every floor has the same layout, what is true of 60A is also true of 57A.

But you're right. It's a mistake. I'm going to be a shitty lawyer.

[Antilles]

"1404(a)(ish)" = priceless.

[ThePyroman]

That is fucking hilarious. Next you should prepare and present a motion for the Judge of the Mock trial to recuse himself for personal reasons.

[Mandy]

Jesus, dude.

[Moonlighting in Misery]

Is this what they pay you for?? Maybe I should stop reading "Anonymous Lawyer" and scaring myself so much.

Sweeet.

[Kathryn]

Can I come work at your firm? Seriously?

[Scheherazade]

Brilliant.

[Aunt Kathy]

Thanks for brightening my day!! You rock.

[JRM]

I hate you more each day, WV, because it's clear that you're funnier than I. You can't spell "Whiny," but being funnier makes up for it. You bastard.

--JRM

[Tbag]

Nicely done. If I was sticking around here long enough for our mock trial action, I'd totally bite that idea.

[wingsandvodka]

JRM---

I would have spelled it that way if the company's founder were named "Dave Whiny" but he isn't. He's named "Dave Whiney." I think it's Welsh or something.

[dave]

that's not funny. my parents were eaten by a motion to change venue.

Definitely one of the funniest things you've posted, and one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

[dgm]

motion granted.
brilliant, messrs. wings and vodka!

[Reckless Murder]

You really need to file that for real. The billable hours lost alone is enough to win the motion. And most big firm attorneys are not all that small, (hence the reference to a slower transactional attorney), and would appreciate the work to save them time walking up stairs. As long as they don't take the elevator you are in the clear.

[wingsandvodka]

Worry not. It was submitted to my supervising attorneys and is making the rounds.

[Reckless Murder]

I forgot to mention that you should have argued for a 1406 transfer and argued for the change of law as well because jurisdiction on the 57th floor was improper. Just a thought, I don't have all the facts to make the final determination, but it could have added more time to waste explaining why the jurisdiction on the 57th floor was bad.

[Joe]

This got emailed around the summer class here. Thank God. Once you hit "bajillionty," I lost it.

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[Alicia Minogui]

Si, eso que dicen algunos de ustedes es asi. Estoy de acuerdo en todo, menos en que es algo que es producto de la economia. Creo que eso es al reves.

[thedarkside]

Espero que no se ofendan, pero no estoy de acuedo con lo que opinan muchos de ustedes. Se que para muchos no es tan serio, pero yo no me lo tomaria tan a la ligera.

[Hector]

Mmmm... no es eso realmente verdad, no? Ja ja ja