“I need to talk to
you about your hours.”
“Really? I’m on
track for 2100 billable hours this year. I, uh…”
“Well, okay, 2100
is the minimum, okay?”
“Okay . . . ?”
“Now, it's up to
you whether or not you want to just do the bare minimum. Well, like Brian, for
example, already has 2300 hours. And a terrific smile.”
“Okay. Okay, you
want me to bill more?”
“Look. Mike.”
“Yeah?”
“People can get
an LLC or a limited partnership drawn up anywhere, okay? They come to this firm
for the dedication and the attitude. That's what the billable hours requirement
is about. It's about fun.”
“Okay. So, more then?”
“Look, we want
you to express yourself, okay? If you think the bare minimum is enough, then okay.
But some people choose to bill more and we encourage that, okay? You do want to
express yourself, don't you?”
“Yeah. Yeah.”
“Oh, and, Mike?”
"Uh-huh?"
"This really needs to be the last time that you rape this particular movie script. Really. It's getting sad."
"Give me a break. It wasn't even my idea in the first place. Some lateral guy mentioned it to me. And it's Monday morning, for chrissake. "
"Alright, well, just don't let it happen again. That's all I ask."
I'm thinking about taking that new paralegal from Litigation. If things go right I might be showing her my O-face. You know: Oh. Oh.
Posted by: | July 25, 2005 at 07:59 AM
You are a very baddd man.
Posted by: Kim Plaintive | July 25, 2005 at 09:27 AM
Here's a trick for y'all. When you are asked to budget your time for next year, and you know you can bill 2400 hrs without a hitch (seriously), don't write down 2400.
Write down 1900, because even if the min. is 2100, and you know you will bill 2400, when they bust on you for being "on track" for 2100, you can say "wow, I am 200 hrs ahead of schedule!." Okay, I'm done with my good deed for the day.
Posted by: BotoxDiaries | July 25, 2005 at 10:38 AM
Hee! Now if only I could give my boss the finger and stomp out...
Posted by: | July 25, 2005 at 11:56 AM
. . . but the sad fact is you could always use more "flair," Mike.
Posted by: Moonlighting in Misery | July 25, 2005 at 01:01 PM
Non sequitur: It's interesting how sometimes your Google Ads feature websites selling cookies and chocolate and sometimes they advertise weight-loss programs and sometimes law school-related crap. Tracking . . .
Posted by: Divisadero | July 26, 2005 at 01:26 PM
i feel like they take away our flair at law school orientation and we get it back little by little over the following three years of hell.
Posted by: amberwaves | July 26, 2005 at 06:59 PM
Someone actually asked me on Monday if I had a case of the Mondays. I couldn't tell if it was supposed to be a joke or not so I just smiled a bit.
I didn't have a case of the Mondays. I was out of breath from hauling myself and a recently consumed plate of meat (that was my entire lunch) up 4 flights of stairs. I'm re-living the freshman 15 experience and my body hates me for it.
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