So, yes, I'm disappointed in W's choice of Roberts as the new guy under the robe. But it doesn't have anything to do with his work in the SG's office or any of his circuit court opinions or the fact that he looks a lot like former 49ers QB Steve Young. Nor does it stem from our much-talked-about 1997 confrontation in which he "borrowed" my Meredith Brooks album only to claim that he "accidentally misplaced it" three weeks later during an alleged poker-game-gone-wrong with Malcolm Jamaal-Warner, Keisha Knight Pulliam, and Charles Alan Wright, two days after which I saw him selling it back to the used section of a Tower Records, presumably to get money for X.
Hell, it doesn't even bother me that he kills kittens.
No, my problem with John G. Roberts is simple: He robbed me of the chance to meet Soledad O'Brien, Sex Goddess of the Cable News World.
Early yesterday I was forwarded a message from a CNN producer looking for someone to show up on the morning show and give some background on Edith Jones in the event she ended up getting the nod. Sure, I wouldn't be able to tell Edith Jones from Edith Clement from Edith Wharton's Ghost. And, sure, it probably would have been a live-via-satellite situation and not a fly-me-up-to-New-York-to-talk-to-Soledad-in-my-bathrobe-and-see-what-develops situation. But that wouldn't have made it any less hot. My boyhood dream would have been fulfilled, my career as a talking head jumpstarted, and Soledad--along with the rest of the country--would have spent the day going: "Man, that guy had a shitty haircut. But those abs...."
So, thanks, John, for ruining everything. I hope it was worth it.
Surely you can come up with something newsworthy to do to get Soledad's attention?
Posted by: Kim Plaintive | July 20, 2005 at 12:56 PM
Coulda been worse...that tape you made with Nicole Narain coulda been released on the internet.
Posted by: austinizer | July 20, 2005 at 02:11 PM
I actually thinks he looks more like Pat Sajak than Steve Young.
Posted by: Bueller | July 20, 2005 at 06:32 PM
The fact that you managed to drop all of those names in the first paragraph is reason enough for Soledad to come crawling.
Meredith Brooks? Jesus.
Posted by: Mandy | July 20, 2005 at 06:44 PM
If you are getting calls from Soledad O'Brien, then it is about damn time you added me to your blogroll.
I could claim it is because I am your friend and faithful TLR minion-editor, but really it is because my life will not be complete until I meet Kiran Chetry.
Posted by: Ian | July 21, 2005 at 08:03 AM