Conversations That Could Have Filled the Awkward Silence Between Me and the Woman, Let's Call Her Noreen, Who Rode Up the Elevator With Me the Other Morning

ME: That's a lovely perfume you're wearing.  Is it Chanel?
HER:  Calvin Klein, actually.
ME:  Oh. Weird.  Well, my grandmother wears Chanel, and you look about
her age, so I just figured.

ME:  So…you work on sixty-three?
HER:  Yeah.
ME:  Does it bother you that that's a prime number?
HER:  Well, no, but I don't think that it is, actually.
ME: Huh?
HER:  It's divisible by three, I think.
ME: What's divisible by three?¬¬
HER:  Sixty-three is.
ME:  And I care because…?
HER:  You said it was a prime number, and I was just pointing out that—
ME:  Listen, lady, I was just trying to make conversation.  That
doesn't give you permission to pull me into your freaky, little world,
okay?

ME:  Deseo comer pescados con su primo el viernes. ¿usted tiene gusto
de aspirar mis dedos del pie?
HER:  I don't speak Spanish.
ME:  Neither do I.

HER:  Could you hit 61?
ME:  No problem.  There sure are a lot of buttons on this thing.
HER:  I guess so.
ME: I mean, there are way more than the fourteen buttons on that dress
you're wearing.

Comments

[Kelly]

What's that - sucking on your toes or something? Excellent elevator conversation!

[soldado23]

where do you get your drugs...i mean...ideas?

[Wade]

Thank Gawd that you just went with awkward silence, LMAO.

[Reckless Murder]

The inner dialogue inside your head is probably twice as funny as what you eventually write for us to read.

[stolie]

You should have talked to her, man! Next time, huh? Next time ...

Stolie

[fares]

l ma very porofisional