NPR: Good Morning. This is Susan Suchandsuch from National Public Radio, and we were looking for some to comment on the Miers nomination. Do you have a second?
WV: Gosh. I don’t know. This is really a bad time.
NPR: Oh. I’m sorry. I don’t want to keep you from class or anything.
WV: Oh it’s nothing like that. It’s just that at the moment I’m busy sticking hot needles into my eyes.
WV: Yeah. It hurts a lot. Like freshly-zippered nuts.
NPR: I can imagine. Say, does this have anything to do with the nomination?
WV: Well, if by nomination you mean the naming of a woefully underqualified candidate who will never be confirmed but will achieve the White House goal of making Senate Democrats look like total cockknockers on national TV, eventually making me beg for the seasoned, experienced Alberto Gonzales to just put an end to it all, then, yeah. That and my Texas-OU ticket problem.
NPR: She’s that underqualified? Is having been a judge really that important?
WV: Not at all. But SMU? Are you kidding me?
NPR: You have a point.
WV: Also, you show me a Locke Liddell lawyer with a sense of humor, and I’ll show you a unicorn that can square a circle.
NPR: That seems a little unfair.
WV: Maybe. But this lady is SIXTY. You know Bush isn’t serious. She’s taking one for the team.
NPR: Can I quote you on that?
WV: Can I meet Terry Gross?
NPR: Uh, no.
WV: How about the All Things Considered guy?
NPR: Definitely not.
WV: Well, then, no.
NPR: But the underqualified/SMU/Unicorn stuff?
WV: Quote away.