I'll come right out and say it now: The Narnia movies are going to suck great big lion balls.
The battle scenes will be nothing new, the kids will be ugly and annoying, and the Jesusness will poke out just a little too much for this heathen's comfort.
But mainly it will be awful because there is absolutely no way for live-action talking animals to be anything but retarded, regardless of whether or not they're completely CG.
So, when you take your kids to see the first one, and they burst into tears halfway through the movie, screaming "Mommy?!? Why does this suck so fucking bad? Why did you bring me here? Don't you love me?", don't say I didn't try to warn you.
Seriously. But you still gotta see it, right?
Posted by: Bueller | November 30, 2005 at 02:16 AM
My 4 year old gets excited everytime the commercial comes on.
Then again, considering the crap she watches, it will be like Shakespeare to her.
Posted by: Ian | November 30, 2005 at 07:58 AM
It's rated PG. That's the first problem. Because unless Aslan mounts one of the kids, nobody will sit through the whole thing.
Posted by: 2L | November 30, 2005 at 08:28 AM
I didn't even recognize the Jesusness when I read the book (for the first time, this past summer). Does that make me more heathen than you?
Posted by: Ruth | November 30, 2005 at 10:08 AM
It is a shame that they could not get the characters from Zoobilee Zoo to make this movie. The Zoobles were always trying to put on a grand play, and they could have easily solved the problem of getting live animals to talk.
Posted by: | November 30, 2005 at 12:44 PM
I miss Zoobilee Zoo and the magic and fun waiting for you.
Because unless Aslan mounts one of the kids, nobody will sit through the whole thing.
"Why Susan Couldn't Go to Heaven: the Untold Story."
Posted by: PG | November 30, 2005 at 01:02 PM
"Disney Pictures is proud to bring you a beloved childhood tale and the cinematic event of a lifetime. Bravo Fox is back as Fox. Talkatoo Cockatoo is the White Witch. Van Go Lion is Aslan. And starring Ben Vereen as the Wardrobe. Disney Pictures and Zoobilee Zoo proudly present: The Chronicales of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. The magic and wonder are coming soon to a theater near you."
Posted by: | November 30, 2005 at 01:12 PM
I totally miss Dumbo's Circus.
Posted by: Mandy | November 30, 2005 at 01:54 PM
blah, blah, blah...
I think it will be really good. If you let the Jesusness bother you, then you are the heathen equivalent of the religious right.
Posted by: | November 30, 2005 at 09:51 PM
blah, blah, blah...
I think it will be really good. If you let the Jesusness bother you, then you are the heathen equivalent of the religious right.
Posted by: | November 30, 2005 at 09:52 PM
Frankly, onscreen talking infants and animals gives me the heebee jeebees.
Posted by: | December 01, 2005 at 09:07 PM
Ah! I saw the Narnia movie, immediately went home and made a "why this movie sucked" list, and then bemoaned the fact that the makers actually saw a need to dramatize the book. So sad.
Posted by: athens | December 16, 2005 at 09:04 PM