Featured 1L Crime of the Day

Today's Winner: Posting your Legal Research & Writing memo. On the Internet. On purpose.

If anyone's looking to draft quarterbacks for spring FanGun leagues, I think you have your man.

Comments

[Ron Mexico]

Not only posting a legal memo, but a bad one at that. But I guess that's what happens when you have page limits ("I hate leaving issues dangling in the breeze....
By arbitrarily restricting document length, you asked for argumentia lite and that’s what you got.”) Note to 1L: try this crap with your future employer. And there is a page limit because no one wants to read all of the shit that some dumb 1L thinks is worth putting on paper.

so to start...

title: Two Case Proof--nice title, douchebag. Way to catch the reader's attention.

First off, I think your citations suck. Sorry.

And what is this: ...50 years[.]” Id. However... You didn't italicize the damn "Id."?! I would fail you in a second--how dare you disrespect the Bluebook in this manner?!

And of course my favorite section title: PUBLIC MAINTENENANCE

didn't you mean Pubpublic maintenenenenance you dumbumbumbumbass?

I wouldn't be so mean, but you trashed some of your classmates for not being as intellectual as you, etc. And that shit doesn't fly in law school. It's incredibly rude, short-sighted, and completely unnecessary. I'm glad that you enjoy law school. But realize that your fellow classmates are likely smarter than you--they simply have tact. The sooner you find this out, the better.

Maybe next time you will spend a little less time discussing your perceived intellectual superiority over your classmates and a little more time proofreading instead.

[abbey]

Amazingly, he fails to realize the possibility that his classmates just don't want to talk to HIM.

http://longhornlaw.net/blog/archives/2005/11/10/464/

[Sara]

what a tool.

He's like Heidi Bond minus forty IQ points.

Kind of a dicked move to out him though.

[Andrew]

Man, this guy's site is much more informative than yours... why don't you ever teach us anything about the law?

[ames]

frankly, his memo sucks, and it's not because of the page limitation. He'd have room for more "clean argument" if he didn't quote from every case, but used his own words and analysis. If your paragraph is supported entirely by someone else's words, you need to rewrite it. ::eyeroll::

ahh, arrogant tools like this will come down eventually. Our number one gunner failed the bar (prior to that, he somehow became an associate editor on TLR). He had similar delusions of grander. Karma is a bastard :)

sorry "grandeur"

[jose]

isn't this the ONE credit hour class that used to be pass/fail that hardly anyone goes to and doesn't put a whole lot of work into????

[Tbag]

Wow...

My favorite thing about Wings is his ability to suckerpunch a 1L with tact and leave the real viciousness to his commenters. Brilliant blogging, my friend...truly brilliant.

;)

[thenambypamby]

How priceless and in his own words:

>>I’ve been in law school for two months now, and going to class excites me every bit as much today as it did the first day of class. I love my classes! I think the reason a lot of people don’t enjoy law school is because they go to class looking for the answers. I don’t. I go looking for the questions. I think that’s why I have so much fun.

Each legal opinion is simultaneously right and wrong. Most students try to understand why the opinion is right (yawn). More fun is developing a strong argument that proves the opinion is wrong. Even better is developing a novel counteragument that trumps this argument…and so on and so on. How can I make the facts of the case fit the outcome I want to achieve? How can I develop a completely integrated system of torts that meets (and metes) my sense of objective fairness, while still generating socially desirable outcomes? How can I make this contract enforceable? Now, how can I make it unenforceable? Now how can I make it enforceable again? I love challenging myself to predict and undermine the professor’s analysis.

After class, I try to engage my peers in discussions of the cases. I ask them if they think we could apply the principles of X Case instead of Y Case. What I’ve learned is that a lot of law students aren’t interested in law discussions. It seems that for them, law school is merely a means to an end.

I’m glad that I’ve chosen this path. <<

http://longhornlaw.net/blog/archives/2005/11/10/464/

I'm starting to finally accept that law school changes most students for the worse. Why is that when we stepped through the doors as a 1L, most of us immediately returned to junior high behavior? Why do we feel the need, no the obligation, to trash our fellow students who will be our future colleagues? Why is it that the over anxious student in the class who asks a lot of questions is always labelled a gunner?
And God help him/her if they make grades and do well. When they do, the wolves begin to circle, waiting for the first smell of blood to dive in and rip them to shreds. As if to say, "There! See how it feels! I knew that you weren't that smart. I knew that something would happen that would replace my own feeling of inadequacy.
Why do we value sameness in law school, but all strive to be those few "different" students who get the A+? And then when it turns out that we are not those students, we say that the grades are arbitrary and unfair. The "podium trolls" who end up in the middle of the pack are deemed over zealous losers whose extra efforts landed them exactly where they deserved to be and those who made excellent grades are over zealous losers who you would never want to be even if you had the opportunity.

When we started this experience, who explained the etiquette of law school to us? And then who secretly taught us to ignore 23+ years of learning acceptance when others overstepped those unwritten bounds?

Now those of you reading this will say, "Dude,your totally the guy that we're talking about". Actually no, I'm not. But all that I can think of is that the next 3 weeks for this guy are going to be hell. Everyone will wisper behind his back for a week and then finally someone will tell him that everyone is talking about what an arrogant prick he is. He will then realize what all the looks have been about and that he is 2 weeks out from the most important/intimidating set of exams that he has ever taken. He will also probably know that if they don't turn out well, it will severely cripple his options.

Readers who disagree with me will undoubtedly turn to how to make me look bad. Maybe you will be able to find grammar mistakes and spelling errors in what I have written. Indeed, I'm sure that there are many, but I'm not worried about it. So don't waste your time. But if you are hooked on the criticism crack pipe, feel free, I'll just feel sorry for you.

My hope: that we may all accept that law school is an intimidating process, but we should not turn our own uneasiness/inadequacies into hate for others eccentricities.

[Ron Mexico]

to the unnamed comment above talking about how law school changes people for the worst--I think we're basically on the same page. The guy is getting trashed not because he's over-excited about law school and learning. No one really gets too down about that; it's perfectly fine and encouraged for 1Ls.

But it is absolutely inexcusable to trash his classmates. I don't care whether it is simply that he feels that he is special and more dedicated. There is no reason to do this and to make assumptions about your classmates. It is extremely unprofessional and simply invites commentary. Don't talk about how you're more intellectual or more dedicated than they are. We'll call you out on it.

[Jerry Maguire]

Well, don't worry. Don't worry. I'm not gonna to do what you all think I'm gonna to do, which is just FLIP OUT! But let me just, let me just say, as I ease out of the office I helped build -- I'm sorry, but it's a FACT! -- that there is such a thing as manners, a way of treating people.

These fish have manners. These fish have manners. In fact, they're coming with me. I'm starting a new company, and the fish will come with me. You can call me sentimental. The fish -- they're coming with me.

Okay. If anybody else wants to come with me, this moment will be the moment of something real, and FUN, and inspiring in this god-forsaken business, and we will do it together. Who's comin' with me? Who's coming with me? Who's coming with me besides "Flipper," here?

[Ron Mexico]

to the unnamed comment above talking about how law school changes people for the worst--I think we're basically on the same page. The guy is getting trashed not because he's over-excited about law school and learning. No one really gets too down about that; it's perfectly fine and encouraged for 1Ls.

But it is absolutely inexcusable to trash his classmates. I don't care whether it is simply that he feels that he is special and more dedicated. There is no reason to do this and to make assumptions about your classmates. It is extremely unprofessional and simply invites commentary. Don't talk about how you're more intellectual or more dedicated than they are. We'll call you out on it.

[Dorothy Boyd]

I will go with you.

[Jerry Maguire]

Dorothy Boyd, thank you! We'll see you all again. Sleep tight.

[Ron Mexico]

Ron Mexico will go with you, Jerry Maguire. You know why? Because you had me at O-dub. (bada-bump... ching!) I'll be here all week folks, enjoy the buffet.

Response to 3:44pm posting -

When I was in law school, I enjoyed debating the law. What I did not like were gunners who wasted my class time with their tangential questions or their whining that a law was “not fair.” My wife and I have spent hours at the dinner table debating whether or not felony murder was “fair.” Yeah, a bit lame, but I enjoy debating the law, and the policies underlying it. But more importantly, I debated it on my time, not on class time. Gunners forget that they have 125 other kids in the room, all of whom really want to end the class with a better understanding of the day’s topic. That is why we root for gunners to fail – not the ones that make comments that clarify and advance the day’s topic, but those pricks who think that the whole class wants to pay a semester’s tuition to wander down the gunner’s chosen tangent. See, you can participate, on topic, and no one really objects. Hating the random tangent gunner is not really junior high – rather, it is the feeling of frustration of a group of would-be professionals whose time and money is being wasted by someone who’s clearest thought for the day is “let me show everyone in the room how smart I am.” Rather than make fun of the gunners, it would have been far more productive for me to yell “shut up and let the professor run class.” But I could not do that, so derision is the next best thing. Yes, the gunners that I knew in law school are now my professional pears – but they are often the attorneys that no one likes either.

[BKG]

Hey everyone! Wow! Hmm... Okay, I am the 1L in question, and I appreciate the feedback both on my blog posts and my crappy "Two Case Proof" (which incidentally was the title given to the assisnment by my Legal Research prof).

I will concede that I am not good at writing proofs. That was, after all, the first time I ever tried to write a proof. My blog is mainly a means for me to record my thoughts and for my family to see what I am doing in Austin.

I don't see the correlation between my enjoyment of law school and "gunner" status since I was comparing my perception of verbal comments from students with my own non-verbal thought process.

I did not intend to insult my classmates with my above referenced post. I can think of several law students in my section who I am certain will do better than me come exam time because (1) they are better prepared (2) ask better questions than I do and (3) have insights that I totally missed. I can also think of others who complain about how they dislike law school and don't get the point of it. I should definitely change "Most students" to "Some students".

Thanks again for the feedback.

[Reckless Murder]

The one reason this guy is a douche: He's a 1L at UT Law and doesn't even have Wings&Vodka linked from his blog. Does he not want to make Law Review? Did he not say the pledge of allegiance growing up? Where is this guy's sense of tradition and honor? 1Ls don't respect their forefathers anymore and that is the shame of it all.

[REM]

Definitely change BKG to "I am a jackass".

[Austin Milbarge]

I remember thinking like this guy for about one week during 1L year, wandering the halls in a little academic bubble and tossing around big concepts like mens rea and substantive due process.

Then 2L year comes, and you're hit with a cold splash of reality when your naked ass is kicked out onto the job market all alone. The real lesson for this guy, if he is reading, is to keep this shit to himself. Whether he realizes it or not, a haughty attitude like that will be kryptonite to even the most grade-whorish of firms during OCI.

But, it takes time to get socialized into the legal profession. I think he's learned his lesson, despite the even more uber-arrogant pandering he's doing to build up those classmates he so casually shredded in the first post.

So for god's sake buddy, don't make yourself out to be such an effing target! The key to survival 1L year is to fly below the radar.