Professional Responsibility--Again

You are informed that 10 or so 1Ls attempted to cheat on their conlaw exam by stashing outlines in the bathroom.  Please answer the following questions:

1.  Isn't the energy it would have taken to hatch this brilliant plan and sneak the secret outlines into the bathroom roughly equal to the energy it would have taken just to memorize the outlines in the first place? See, e.g., Joey Russo, I Hid the Answers in My Head, 12 J. BLOSSOM & ECON. 332 (1991).

2. Where do you hide the outlines, anyway? Ceiling tiles? Too obvious.  Toilet tank? Too Godfather.  Toilet paper holder? Too fake urine-y.  Taped to your own spleen? Now we're talking.

3. Assume that the administration doesn't have the stones to kick 10 people out of law school based on accusations that they're the stupidest exam cheats in the history of the world.  Isn't it still possible that certain student-run journals might be willing to err on the side of integrity and immediately ban anyone credibly charged with participating, if only to be even more spiteful and elitist than they already are?

4. True or False: The kind of people that would say "Hey! Let's try to cheat on a closed-book essay exam!" are the same kind of people that would say "Hey! Let's try to hide $500 million in losses by burying them in an off-the-books special purpose entity! We'll call it....GreenLaserMegatron!" Explain.

5.  If presented with the choice of A) cheating this way by yourself, or B) bringing in 9 other people, as to increase your chances of being detected while decreasing your expected return, which way would you go, assuming that you're not legally brain-dead?

6.  If you were, hypothetically, a member of this elite group of douchebags, how, exactly, would you go about explaining your actions?  Not justifying--just explaining.  I just want to know why it seemed like a good idea.  Really.  I've spent the last five hours with my head buried in the UCC, and by comparison, the UCC seems way, way easier to understand.

Comments

[Ruth]

Wow, the more details that fly around the more I can understand the 1Ls plan to cheat. Assuming the rumors are true, then it seems to me that a group of people dumb enough to hatch that plan were probably at the bottom of the curve and cheated out of desperation.

Ridiculous. Even if you are at the bottom of the curve, that doesnt mean you cheat out of desperation...cheating out of desperation is what students at places like South Texas College of Law do b/c the bottom of THEIR curve means they fail out of lawschool. You can't do that here unless you try really really hard...or, you know, CHEAT!

[Anonymous Asshole]

Hey you 1L's - someone post the text of the e-mails the school is sending out.

[Bathroom Stall]

What I don't understand is how they got caught? If someone else was in the bathroom--then what were THEY doing in the bathroom, too? Participating in their own cheating ring?

[Oklahoma City School of Law 4L]

Come on, 1Ls! What the hell are y'all good for if not to fill the rest of us in on the good law school drama. I am utterly underwhelmed by your work. And, come on, those of us who have been sitting on a beach for the past few weeks without finals know that 1Ls have been furiously hitting the refresh button on your grades . . . so, not being online to fill us in is no excuse!

I WANT DETAILS! This is way better than the guy who used his laptop with an outline on it after being told to close the laptop our year.

I'm a 1L, and except for what has been posted here and on amicus curiae, I haven't heard a thing about this...perhaps you've all been scammed?

[hmmm...]

I envision a Maria Full of Grace scenario... Where they have rolled up different sections of an outline and swallowed them in a condom. They then pass the outline in the stall, read it and flush....

[The Fake Lynn Blais]

Posted to blackboard from Blais:

I have heard from several students in Section 3 that there is widespread suspicion of unethical exam behavior among some members of the Section. I sincerely hope that these suspicions are unfounded.

I remind all of you that cheating is a violation of the honor code that, if verified, will most likely result in expulsion from the law school. Moreover, violating the law school's honor code with unethical exam behavior would be a substantial impediment to ever being admitted to the bar.

The proctors, and I, will be in the hallways tomorrow during your exam making sure that everyone complies with all aspects of the honor code.

Good luck on the exam.

hmmm....

I envisioned a scenario more along the lines of Spies Like Us. Answers inside of a fake cast, on the backside of an unnecessary eye patch, or even fake cardiac arrest.

And why all this talk of remaking Revenge of the Nerds, when a remake of Spies Like Us casting Vince Vaughn and Luke Wilson would generate billions more at the box office. Plus isn't there a rule about remaking movies which have already had sequels made--might tear a hole in the space time continium or something?

[JRM]

WV:

1. No, it is not easier to remember stuff than to cheat. Consider just how high the students were at the time. Can you remember stuff? Hell, finding the class requires a map.

2. Always - and I mean, always - tape the outline to the bottom of the gun. Don't hide it in the barrel, like that guy "Four Fingers."

3. No. Actions have consequences, and once they have paid the ultimate consequence of being sternly warned, nothing more should or can be done. Unless everyone wants lawyers hired.

Of course, everyone wants lawyers hired. Excellent.

4. True. Duh.

5. Well, remember that only one guy thought of this plan in the first place. He got the other nine in so he'd have people to rat out if caught; then the other nine get expelled, and he gets a medal for exposing their wrongfulness.

6. Many easy explanations come to mind:

A. "Sorry, I thought I was at SMU."

B. "I never saw a rule against getting outlines in the bathroom."

C. "The other nine students made me do it; they said they'd kill my hamster and subscribe me to magazines I didn't want if I didn't go along with them." (You should cry during this one.)

D. "No hablo Ingles."

E. "Vince Young said I could."

--JRM, who stuck to the standard of stapling $50 bills to each page of the bluebook. (This was sometimes enough to get me to C- territory.)

wow. I've been so immersed in studying for my own finals that I've missed all this craziness.
Thanks for the juicy (though extremely disheartening) gossip.

[Oklahoma City School of Law 4L]

The days pass by but things with W&V guests stay the same . . . everyone wants to be the man, see JRM, but no one can beat the man, Id.. See, even in my post mocking JRM's awful posting I'm making a futile and clearly unsuccessful attempt at humor. It's sad, just plain sad.

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