You are informed that 10 or so 1Ls attempted to cheat on their conlaw exam by stashing outlines in the bathroom. Please answer the following questions:
1. Isn't the energy it would have taken to hatch this brilliant plan and sneak the secret outlines into the bathroom roughly equal to the energy it would have taken just to memorize the outlines in the first place? See, e.g., Joey Russo, I Hid the Answers in My Head, 12 J. BLOSSOM & ECON. 332 (1991).
2. Where do you hide the outlines, anyway? Ceiling tiles? Too obvious. Toilet tank? Too Godfather. Toilet paper holder? Too fake urine-y. Taped to your own spleen? Now we're talking.
3. Assume that the administration doesn't have the stones to kick 10 people out of law school based on accusations that they're the stupidest exam cheats in the history of the world. Isn't it still possible that certain student-run journals might be willing to err on the side of integrity and immediately ban anyone credibly charged with participating, if only to be even more spiteful and elitist than they already are?
4. True or False: The kind of people that would say "Hey! Let's try to cheat on a closed-book essay exam!" are the same kind of people that would say "Hey! Let's try to hide $500 million in losses by burying them in an off-the-books special purpose entity! We'll call it....GreenLaserMegatron!" Explain.
5. If presented with the choice of A) cheating this way by yourself, or B) bringing in 9 other people, as to increase your chances of being detected while decreasing your expected return, which way would you go, assuming that you're not legally brain-dead?
6. If you were, hypothetically, a member of this elite group of douchebags, how, exactly, would you go about explaining your actions? Not justifying--just explaining. I just want to know why it seemed like a good idea. Really. I've spent the last five hours with my head buried in the UCC, and by comparison, the UCC seems way, way easier to understand.