Look. I don't need any airhorns. I don't need anyone hooting and hollering. I don't need a row of guys with "Mike Is The Coolest. Ever" spelled out on their chests. I'm not going to have Christmas lights attached to my suit or a blowup life vest underneath it, and I don't expect any of the ladies to flash me. Much. I don't intend to do a pratfall, and I'm not really hot on the idea of "raising the roof" or "milking the kitten" on stage.
If you want to clap a little harder when they say my name, that's fine. And if you feel like starting a slow chant of "Wings...and....Vodka....Wings...and....Vodka," a low chant that slowly builds to a mid-sized roar, the kind of roar that makes them stop the ceremony for a few seconds so that everyone can catch their breath, well, that's fine, too. I won't stop you.
But this is a serious occasion, so let's try to be civil.