Dear MBE Question Writers

I get it.  You're trying to distract me with your crazy hypos.   The sensational details and  young ages of rape victims are meant to sucker me into finding the defendant guilty when he clearly should get off because of tainted evidence.  That the unfairly silenced orator happens to be a KKK Nazi Abortion Clinic Bomber from a Pac-10 school is supposed to distract me from the fact that he, too, has constitutional rights. And the three-page-long story where I'm a pornshop proprietor who tries to form a verbal contract for the purchase of property on which someone is going to slip and fall while committing a burglarly that will get them put in front of an all-white jury without having been properly read their rights is supposed to spin me around so much that by the time I get to the actual question--what was the name of the pornshop proprietor?--I don't remember that it was me.

But the John Wayne Bobbitt hypo today? Really? Do you really think that someone like me, this close to the bar, is in a stable enough emotional state to handle severed penis stories before breakfast?

I hate you lots.

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