I Fought the Law, and the Law Shivved Me in the Junk

While doing practice MBE questions (600 down, about 16glabillion to go), I make these lists of mistakes that I've made, in hopes that I'll not repeat them.  Stuff like

Is the witness's absence required for a hearsay exception?

Is this a strict liabilty crime we're talking about?

Make sure it's not a lesser included offense. 

But after spending more and more time with these jerkoff questions, my lists are starting to take on a different tone:

                Apparently, virtually anything said by anyone can be construed as being against their interest.

                Obviously, any conversation you have with a social worker would count as being psychotherapy. Obviously.

                Well of course there's a special exception for statements made in connection with the purchase of a home brewing system, douchebag.  How could you forget to remember that?

                Argalflab? Pensghjaiging wakasaisoaisdjhosiaj!!!!!!

I did, however, get to see Fiona Apple and Damien Rice over at the Nokia Theatre the other night, and they rocked my nuts off.  So, yeah, I got no nuts.

Comments

[Thinking Fool]

If you contact the Texas State Bar and explain that you recently became nutless, maybe the Bar will give you some extra time on the MBE.

[Allan]

Dude, don't bother learning what you got wrong! Just memorize the questions and answers. You will see a third of them again.

I always laugh when I hear or read people refer to their genitals as "junk." Just thought you should know.

Don't forget that the mailbox rule doesn't apply to accepting an option. Mofos...

[gerry beyer]

forger is the real drawer because forger signed when forger forged the alleged drawer's signature.

re: junk

Hopefully it's only guys you hear do this, and not "people". I am pretty sure that I don't want to hear women use this term.

[E.]

What the hell is uttering?!?!?!?!

re: junk

I've only heard guys use the term "junk," but I've heard it said about men and women. As in, "Dude, look! you can see her junk!" That just kills me.

But I agree, I don't think I would like hearing a woman say she'd like to check out my junk...

HM

Something to remember: Getting a 180 (or even a score in the high 170s) on the LSAT is somewhat admired and can be extremely helpful in life. Getting a perfect score on the bar exam means you're douchebag. You seem like you've done enough to pass.

I forgot to type an "a" in front of "douchebag", which of course means (say it with me now): I'm a douchebag.

"Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes, well, he eats you."

I like it better without the "a," as in "I am douchebag."

[rex momus]

God fucking dammit. I was going to go see that concert in Dallas, but couldn't. I really just wanted to see David Garza; Fiona Apple and Damien Rice would've been a bonus. Actually, surplusage in my opion. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.

[PG]

I thought junk, particularly with reference to women, could be used anatomically only to refer to one's trunk, i.e. butt. Urban Dictionary is with me (and has pictures).

[eve isk]

God fucking dammit. I was going to go see that concert in Dallas, but couldn't. I really just wanted to see David Garza; Fiona Apple and Damien Rice would've been a bonus. Actually, surplusage in my opion. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.