Signing Off

There’s nothing funny about law school.

There’s nothing funny about eating at Subway 8 times a week, but only showering once.

There’s nothing funny about being called on unprepared and falling on your face in front of 120 classmates. And even less that’s funny about being called on when you’re prepared, only to fail anyway.

There’s probably nothing funny about six-figure student loan debt. Though, if you think about it, seven-figure student loan debt would be pretty hilarious.  But there’s definitely nothing funny about having your whole night ruined by an improperly italicized em-dash. Or period. Or space.  And there’s nothing funny about spending your whole life studying and taking tests only to then take a test that will allow you to spend three more years studying and taking tests, after which, as a reward, you get to study for and take the stupidest test in the history of tests.

No, looking back at it, there really wasn’t much of anything funny about law school.

But somehow we still managed to laugh. Quite a bit, I think.

So . . . try to remember that. Try to remember that, yes, we are going into a humorless business full of uptight, soulless pricks. But it can only stay a business full of uptight, soulless pricks if we all in fact become uptight, soulless pricks.

So here’s to the eternal preservation of the soul, the endless suppression of uptight prickery.

Here’s to getting a laugh out of the law everyday. And not a lame, bullshit laugh like “Heh-heh, that guy went to a state school” or “Oh man, she must have missed the bonus this year--she’s  shopping at Banana Republic.”

Make it a real laugh. 

Here’s to dropping the Ludacris footnote into your judge’s opinion, or the GHB in the hiring partner’s coffee, or your pants at the firm Christmas banquet.  Here’s to providing fodder for the hundreds of law students blogging about their clerkships each summer. Here’s to setting aside a few minutes out of each day--each of the thousands of days we’ll spend in this serious profession--to take ourselves a little less than seriously.  Seriously.

It’s been an odd but rewarding experience to inflict myself upon the world for the last three years, and during that time this blog has managed to poke into my real life in more ways than I ever could have expected. It got me a job. It got me called out in class. It got me tens of tens of dollars in advertising revenue, and one time it even got me sweet concert tickets. But I’ve needed to call it quits for quite some time, and that time is finally now.

The hope: That putting an end to my blogging activities will finally force me to finish at least one of the countless “legitimate” writing projects I’ve started since puberty.

The reality: Don’t be surprised when you stumble upon the anonymous blog of a Texas practitioner whose obsession with Russian gymnasts and his own rock-hard abs seems more than a little familiar.

 I’d like to thank everyone who’s read this over the last 40 months, particularly those who’ve taken the time to comment, or those who came here looking for porn. I liked to think of my comments section as a sort of treehouse for law students who didn’t have time to meet in a real treehouse, which, now that I type it, is sort of sad and makes me wish that I’d just built a treehouse instead. But, anyway, thanks for reading.

I’d like to thank the network administrators at each and every American law school for making wireless internet access available in classrooms. Without you, my readership would have consisted mainly of my mom. (And maybe Professor Brian Leiter, provided that I took the time to mention him so that his weekly self-Google would bring him here.)

I’d like to thank my wife, who put up with this shit, and only rarely took the time to make fun of me on my own blog.

And last, but most importantly, I’d like to thank Harriet Miers, without whom none of this would have been possible.

So long, and thanks for all the outlines.

--Mike

Comments

[SG]

loved the blog from when i first found it to the last douglas adams quote- thanks

Hell - man. Thank YOU!

[stare decisis]

Good luck, Mike - thanks for helping us laugh at ourselves - and you.

[Josh]

Fair winds and following seas. So long.

[CH]

What a gracious exit. I echo the "thank you"'s, it's been a true pleasure. I'm looking forward to stumbling across the anonymous blog that is sure to follow (you can't really give all THIS up, can you?)...

[ames]

We suffered through 1L year together, although at different schools, and - well, kind of one-sided, since I am not a frequent commenter. Thank you for providing some perspective, some humor, and the ever-popular "I HARE CONFLACTS!" cheer, which ran through my mind while taking the bar. Did it help? Probably not, but it made me giggle. Best of luck, dude. I'll miss this blog.

[chucha]

i don't think i have ever commented, but you have given me many laughs over the past 3 years. i was in your section and a few classes, and well, not only were you brilliant there, but you were also brilliant here. good luck and thanks!

[A. Rickey]

You taught me about killer robots. That has to be the most important thing I learned in law school.

Sayoonara, Mike!

[grad]

Thanks for providing me with something to do during class. Good luck!

[Meg]

This is a great blog, and I'm still going to keep your "Best of" page linked in my own sidebar - it's cracked me and my friends up since we first found it this summer and I hope will continue to as long as the page sticks around. It's good advice/humor/commiseration for all law students, and is an interesting, insightful, and hilarious read even in hindsight.

Thanks, dude, and good luck with that whole "future" thing. :)

[Hawk McGee]

Vaya con Dios, Mr. andVodka. Thanks for helping me through my first year.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the laughs. A hearty muchas gracias from one of your many far-flung readers.

[eAir]

take 'er easy, dude. hope we stay in touch.

[BCLS'06]

This blog made me laugh so hard I cried, and that may have made 3 years of law school worthwhile. Thanks for letting us share your experience.

Thanks for the great writing, i cant even count the times something you wrote got me through a class my first year. Best of luck.

Amen, brother. Thanks for making law school and summer clerkships more fun. Good luck.

darn, that's the end.

[one_sly_bookworm]

Mike,

I've never commented before, but THANK YOU! You made my first year bearable in more ways that one, while either spacing during a boring Contracts lecture or reading up on Harriet Myers during Con Law. I'm gonna miss this blog, so I hope to hear about some random Russian gymnasts, SOON! Good luck to you!

[Fletcher Reede]

Goodbye to my second-favorite site on the Internet. (Thank God Nancy's Quilt Shop is here to stay.)

[Ozymandia]

I will never think of the phrase "Motion for Change of Venue" the same way ever again. Hate to see you go, but as Louis the 14th said on his deathbed...Why do you weep. Did you think I was immortal? All good things come to an end. Farewell. See you on the Bestseller List!

Be well.

This blog has been, to use a technical term, "effing incredible." Thanks for the memories.

[Beanie]

Hey Mike, you'll be missed. After all, you were the first EIC I've ever seen who had a sense of humor.

[Ben Allums]

Mike,
Really enjoyed your blog for the past year, but thanks especially (to you and everyone at UT--students, faculty, and administration alike) for giving me and 59 of my classmates a place to land last fall when things got a bit damp in New Orleans. Wings and Vodka often gave me something to smile about when things weren't exactly all gumdrops and fairy dust. Take care--Ben

[Sad]

Parting is such sweet sorrow... Thank you so much for some incredible belly laughs during some very difficult times. I can't wait to see your writing somewhere else!