"This Thanksgiving, I resolve to spend an entire weekend with my family without once starting a sentence with 'You know, if we were in New York, you could charge him with....' or 'Clearly, that's a violation of...' or 'According to Plaintiff v. Defendant, you can't do that with a turkey unless...' or any other similarly annoying phrases that might remind my loved ones of why they hate lawyers. Amen."